What Happens in Vegas Doesn't Stay in Vegas, As It Turns Out - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, VEGAS?

Las Vegas, NV - Sin City, the only place in America where, if you have $1, you can't buy a McDouble. Well, if you're homeless, anyway.

LAS VEGAS -- A battle is brewing over a new Las Vegas ordinance that bans providing food or meals to the indigent at city parks.

The Las Vegas City Council unanimously passed a law, which went into effect Thursday, making it a crime to feed the homeless at city parks. It carries a maximum penalty of $1,000 and six months in jail. ^[1]

Wait... What? Apparently, it's now a vicious crime (of the misdemeanor proportion) to feed someone.

What if I go to Vegas and I don't want the rest of my food? I simply can't give it to somebody that needs it more than I do?

In a city with a rich tourism industry, I supposed that I can understand why they'd want to do just about anything to get rid of their "homeless problem". However, in a city with a rich tourism industry, if I'm spending money on food, why in the fuck is it the business of the law who eats it?

But, if that wasn't bad enough, the law also bans food being sold to homeless people:

The law bans giving away or selling food to anyone who could get assistance from official sources under state law, and officials said city marshals will get specialized training to enforce it.

So, as if it weren't bad enough that they're homeless, and some of them have too much pride to ask for help - if they ever have enough money to buy themselves food, they're actually not allowed to do so by law.

I can see it now:

Customer: "I'd like a double cheesburger, hold the mustard."

Employee: "Sorry, but as your shirt is a bit ratty, you smell like sweat and your jeans have holes in them, I'm not sure if I am legally allowed to serve you. Let me consult my trusty homeless-identification chart."

Customer: "What? I just wanted a fucking hamburger."

Employee: "I'm sorry sir, but as your shoes are over five years-old and your shirt has stains on it, the in-store chart identifies you as a homeless person. I cannot afford to lose my job or risk jail time, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

You know, I remember the last time people weren't allowed to buy food at certain places, according to the law - it was the 1950s.^[2] I also hear it kind-of sucked to be on the short end of that proverbial stick!

And, in the most damned hilarious thing I've seen in a long time, the mayor explains how they will identify the homeless:

The city’s mayor, Oscar Goodman, dismissed questions about how marshals will identify the homeless so that they can enforce the ordinance.

"Certain truths are self-evident," Goodman said. "You know who's homeless."

WHAT? I know there are a lot of homeless people in Baltimore, but I couldn't tell you who is or isn't. I wonder if I shared a sandwich with some dirty punk rock kid who was wearing an old, ratty t-shirt - would I be arrested because he "looks homeless"?

It really makes you think...

In related new, the article goes on to explain their overall position, which has involved arresting homeless people in parks - those that have too much "pride" to help themselves are considered mentally unhealthy and given "help".

Las Vegas: You're trying too hard.

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2. Well, okay, I don't remember it, because I'm not that old, but I recall hearing about it from people who were alive then.

What the fuck, McDonalds?

Apparently, McDonalds thinks it is the sole business of the world that is allowed to have "Mc" as part of its name.

Mc is no longer exclusive to McDonald's in Malaysia.

The fast-food chain lost an eight-year trademark battle to prevent a Malaysian curry restaurant from using the name "McCurry."

...

McCurry, which stands for Malaysian Chicken Curry, first opened in 1999 and serves dishes including fish head curry and breads including roti chanai and tandoori naan, according to the restaurant's Web site. Its logo is a chicken giving a thumbs-up sign. ^[1]

Apparently, making your name and actually having it stand for something while having it start with "M" followed by a "C" is wrong, because it is the sole proprietary rights of McDonalds.

What a silly corporation to attack such a lowly business simply trying to make it in the world. So what if they're called McCurry? In the lawsuit, they [McDonalds] claimed it infringed on their copyright as it could confuse consumers.

I'm not sure about Malay [the official language of Malaysian], but in English, at least, "McCurry" sounds nothing like "McDonalds", other than the "Mc" part.

And if that's not enough, their ownership and offense at people using "Mc" coupled with another word doesn't end in "consumer confusion" claims against supposedly-rival food outlets, as you can not read:

In 2003, Merriam-Webster defined the term "McJob" as "low- paying and dead-end work," which prompted a sharp response from former McDonald's Chief Executive Jim Cantalupo.

In an open letter to Merriam-Webster, Cantalupo said "your inclusion of the term "McJob", with its definition of "low paying and dead end work ", is not only an inaccurate description of restaurant employment, it's also a slap in the face to the 12 million men and women who work hard every day in America's 900,000 restaurants."

That's right, the [former] Chief Executive of McDonalds wrote an attack letter to Merriam-Webster, those awesome word people. Why? For the simple face that they put "McJob" in their dictionary and defined it in a way that might be demeaning the McDonalds (because nobody can ever demean such a might corporation).

Apparently, Jim Cantalupo doesn't understand that dictionaries tend to include words and define them as they are being used in a social situations. "McJob" has been a demeaning term in society and pop-culture (it's been in quite a few movies) waaaay before 2003.

In fact, in high school, as I remember it, we had to write a research paper for our final in Senior English (way back in the ancient days of 1999). The paper had to be about career we were interested in, and we had to describe the steps to becoming the thing we wanted to be. My teacher snarkily specified, "I want this to be about a real career, not a McJob."

Though, it's not just absurd Asian lawsuits and stupidly nasty letters to the wonderful wordsmiths at Webster's that McDonalds has given the world! As always, we get home-brewed, frivolous American lawsuits (and the Big Mac, who can forget that they've given us the Big Mac!?), just like any other sector of American life:

Other "Mc" suits include one against a motel with the name McSleep and McCoffee, a San Francisco Bay area espresso shop named after its owner, Elizabeth McCaughey.

Really? They're suing McCoffee, which is named after its owner? How's that going to work out? She's clearly not trying to confuse consumers (again, not that "McCoffee" has anything to do with or sounds anything like "McDonalds"). Her name really is "McCoffee". That's how you pronounce "McCaughey" - McCoffee.

Well, good luck with that McDonalds. Maybe next time I decide to come in for something, I'll order something with a side of corporate fascism.

McDonalds: Their new campaign is a ten year plan to sue most of Ireland.

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