How many neo-nazis does it take to realize they're not wanted?

The answer is "I don't know".

COEUR D'ALENE -- In an odd twist of events, the Aryan Nations claims its being discriminated against as their public pronouncement of wanting to move the group from Athol, Idaho to John Day, Oregon has been met with an overwhelmingly negative response.

...

Paul Mullet, the 36-year-old self-proclaimed leader of the Aryan Nations, says his group has gotten angry e-mails, phone calls and negative publicity from a planned moved to eastern Oregon and he says he doesn't understand why.^[1]

He doesn't understand why! HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY!

No, seriously, he literally does NOT get it:

“I do have this one question to John Day itself. What did we do to anyone in that community?"

REALLY? YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT?

I mean, personally, I believe this is a stupid political ideology, and it probably only occurs in the dumbest of people. However, even at that point, they should understand why people might not like them.

He goes on to explain just how much he doesn't get it:

“I do admit that there were some bad seeds that got into the Aryan Nations that caused a lot of problems,” Mullet says but he maintains that’s all in the past. His group wants to move to John Day to build a new compound, recruit and train members and give back to the community.

Oh, it was stuff that happened in the past! Sorry if everybody is judging you based on your past! All is forgiven, it's not like you guys are still trying to make this country a whites-only nation, right?

The Aryans, who are in search of a whites-only homeland, says land in Oregon is more affordable and Mullet and several members recently looked at an old school and church in John Day.

Oh, you are?

Dammit. There goes my point. I tried to help you, Mullet, I really did!

I can't stop laughing that his last name is "Mullet" either.

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All I did was say to my wife, "That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!"

If you ask the right people, that is the exact same crime that Tillikum, the now infamous killer whale, committed, too. Could there be a grain of truth in this? I can't be certain, as I do not speak Orca (and neither do his trainers). However, this little fairytale story is exactly what the American Family Association would have you believe! Sort-of.

In a recent blog on their site, blogger Bryan Fischer suggests that the whale be stoned. Not as in "given marijuana and made to be high", but as in "have stones thrown at it and killed". Of course, this immediately conjured up a hilarious image of a whale in the place of the poor guy "Jehovah guy" in Monty Python's The Life of Brian.

Tillikum: All I did was say to my trainer, "That piece of seal meat was good enough for Jehovah!"

Fischer: You're only making it worse for yourself.

Tillikum: Making it worse for myself? How could it get any worse? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah!

After this short exchange of words, the crowd accidentally stones Fischer, killing him.

My gods, that would be awesome. I mean, a world without that guy would be a world I'd actually enjoy living in. If you think I'm overreacting, just take a look at what he has to say:

If the counsel of the Judeo-Christian tradition had been followed, Tillikum would have been put out of everyone's misery back in 1991 and would not have had the opportunity to claim two more human lives.

Says the ancient civil code of Israel, "When an ox gores a man or woman to death, the ox shall be stoned, and its flesh shall not be eaten, but the owner shall not be liable." (Exodus 21:28)

So, your animal kills somebody, your moral responsibility is to put that animal to death. You have no moral culpability in the death, because you didn't know the animal was going to go postal on somebody.

But, the Scripture soberly warns, if one of your animals kills a second time because you didn't kill it after it claimed its first human victim, this time you die right along with your animal. To use the example from Exodus, if your ox kills a second time, "the ox shall be stoned, and its owner also shall be put to death." (Exodus 21:29)

So, not only does he want the whale to be killed, but its curator, as well, apparently. WOW.

Maybe we should start following Biblical laws! Gosh, that'd be great! We could really fix the world with Biblical law.

We can start this tradition by stoning unruly kids (I'm actually all for that), then move on to the rape victims (for not yelling loudly enough), and after that, women who sit on furniture while having their period.

Oh, and why stop there, when we can stone the people who wear mixed-fiber clothing? You know the people I mean: like, everybody in the world, just about!

Actually, that last one's not such a bad idea... We could start with him!

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"You... Complete me."

Those were the immortal words of The Joker... Or Jerry Maguire. One of those.

Lord Xenu's archnemesis, playing a sports agent, uttered it to a member of the opposite gender, while our beloved (and dead) Heath Ledger, as The Joker, uttered the phrase to a member of his own gender. And while that was absolutely hilarious the first twenty times I saw it (and the subsequent twenty, as well), it's not for everybody. You see, I've found another Joker. And this one? Well, you would never hear them saying such to a member of the same gender. This Joker's name is "Barb Davis White", and she running as a Republican in Minnesota's 5th District.

When I call White "The Joker", it's not only because she wears clown makeup, but because she is actually a joker. She's absolutely hilarious. She thinks that civil rights are over with; gone with the wind. Why? Well, it's because she has her civil rights already. As an African-American woman, she's been empowered by two seperate movements in American history, and plenty of laws and legal rulings to help her on her way. White feels "just fine" these days, apparently. The problem is, though, that she is so comfortable with her civil rights, that she's using her rights (like the right to run for office and be elected to that office) to squash the rights of others: She is a homophobic wench, to put it politely.

Barb Davis White, a Tea Party activist and Republican candidate for Minnesota’s 5th Congressional District, prompted shocked gasps from the packed hearing room when she said, “Rosa Parks did not move to the front of the bus to support sodomy.” Her testimony involved accusations that the movement for marriage equality is hijacking the civil rights movement.

A Tea Party activist? Not a surprised look in my eye at all, there.

And the gay rights movement is hijacking the civil rights movement? I'm pretty sure WHITE is the one hijacking the civil rights movement. You know, but trying to define exactly what it is and where it ends.

Miss White is evil incarnate, apparently, much like The Joker. And, much like The Joker of Batman fame, she also makes up elaborate schemes to further her agenda:

White also garnered some laughs from the audience when she said, “Studies also show that the average homosexual has hundreds of sexual partners in his lifetime… and I repeat hundreds.”

“I’m here today to tell you that homosexuality and lesbian behavior is unhealthy,” claiming that gays and lesbians have higher rates of STDs than anyone else in the world, including “gay bowel disease,” an ailment that does not exist and is often used by religious right figures to paint gay men as diseased.

Gay bowel disease? WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GAY BOWEL DISEASE? I'M... WHAT? I... JUST... WHAT???

Oh, thankfully, Wikipedia saved the day. They have a page on it! Apparently, it's an outdated term that really means nothing at all... Yet another thing in this blog that's NOT A SURPRISE!

I can make up terms, too, you know. So, I would love to say that I think White suffers from a disease: bad-makeup-stupid-bitch disease. And you don't need Dr. House to diagnose that one.

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