I am outraged... OUTRAGED, INTERNET!

KFC has introduced a new sandwich, the infamous "Double Down". This sandwich is not like a typical sandwich at all. Unlike a typical sandwich, this one contains no bread/bun/roll. In the place of such starchy goodness, it has two pieces of fried, breaded chicken breast. Between these chicken breasts are several types of cheese AND slices of bacon.^[1]

I'm completely outraged over this situation, internet. How could KFC do such a thing!? How could they introduce such an unhealthy sandwich in to the heart of America? This sandwich is nothing but a pile of fat and grease.^[2] This sandwich has no nutritional value and serves no real purpose other than to cause an obesity epidemic!

Actually, I'm not outraged about it at all. I am, however, still outraged. You see, I'm more outraged at the massive amount of fail going around the internet. I've read several blogs/news articles/etc that complain about this sandwich, like it's the Rapture; as if it signifies the end of times.^[3]

But guess what, blogosphere? This sandwich only has 32 grams of fat and 540 calories. Sure, that's a ton of fat and calories, blogosphere. But, guess what? It's all been done before. This is nothing new!

The BK Stacker (the smallest one - we don't even want to talk about the largest one) has 560 calories and 39 grams of fat, and it's been around for years. Where was the blog-based outrage over that back in 2006? Or, if we're really just mad at KFC mixing stuff up, where were these prophets of doom when the KFC Potato Bowl came out?

It seems to me that people are treating it like it's the new Holocaust because it's two pieces of fried chicken with both bacon and cheese involved. Yes, reading the description makes me think, "Wow, that sounds ridiculously unhealthy". But, when you get down to it, it's not really that bad considering the shit America already eats in fast food restaurants.

1. Mmm, bacon!
2. Delicious, delicious fat and grease!
3. To be fair, its packaging does contain the phrase, "The end is very fucking nigh."

Things are just getting MORE confusing now.

In my last blog, I explained how much simpler the world was when I was younger. And now, today, I've found another example of that. In my youth, if you followed a law, you couldn't be prosecuted and charged with a crime because of another law - that's just how the law worked. Apparently, that is no longer how it works... At least, in Wisconsin, anyway!

District Attorney Scott Southworth from Juneau County (that's in Wisconsin, not Alaska) is threatening to charge sex-education teachers with "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" if they teach teens how to properly use condoms or birth control. On the very basis of what he said, that last sentence is pretty ridiculous. On the basis that, under a new Wisconsin law, sex-education teachers are required to teach teens how to properly use contraceptive methods, it's even more bat-shit insane.

So, to sum this short post up, if you teach sex-education in Juneau County, Wisconsin, you're either losing your job or going to jail - there is no middle ground.^[1] The teachers here can either follow the state law and risk being charged with a crime (by Herr Dunce over there to the left), or they can follow what this idiot says and risk losing their jobs. That's a pretty tough decision, especially in these economically trying times.

1. And ending up in a stupid court battle where you are eventually set free and the judge insults the DA's intelligence.
2. Source