Tuesday, March 5, 2013

The Little Dumpster That Could(n't)

Once upon a time, in the fairytale land of Codysville, there was a dumpster. This dumpster was blue, and it was made for recycling. The blue dumpster had clear labels on it, stating that it was only to be used for recycling; the labels on the dumpster stated things like "RECYCLING ONLY" and "NO TRASH". The words on the dumpster were in the common tongue of the area, and repeated in a foreign tongue, Spanish (the language of the Spaniards). The blue dumpster was unfortunately the nearest dumpster to many apartments (apartments are shoddily-constructed homes typical of many Codysvillians), which meant that it was seldom used for its intended purposes.

The little blue dumpster was saddened by its misuse, and even more so by the sheer loneliness of its existence. The little blue dumpster had heard stories of other little blue dumpsters and how they shared a living space with little brown dumpsters - trash dumpsters. The little blue dumpster yearned and yearned for a sibling, often asking its parents, "MOOOOOM! DAAAAAAAAD! WHY CAN'T I HAVE A LITTLE BROTHER!!!!!!????"

One day, the awesome trash company, the parents of the little blue dumpster, in their endless wisdom, committed an act of intercourse which caused the creation of a little brown dumpster. Soon the little brown dumpster was delivered, and it was placed alongside the little blue dumpster! The little blue dumpster beamed with pride at the look of its shiny new sibling! 

The little blue dumpster laughed to itself, thinking: "OH, OH, OH! This is excellent! Now I will only be used for proper waste disposal, as labeled!"

Oh, but the little blue dumpster didn't understand the people of Codysville, for they were not Codysvillians, but CodysVILLAINS. Villains, yes! Lazy, lazy villains!

The little blue dumpster awaited the first use of its shiny brown counterpart, but it just never came. Day after day, people walked by the little brown dumpster and continued to put their trash in the little blue dumpster. Oh, if only the little blue dumpster had been jealous of its sibling like many kids - it would've been so, so happy to still be used in lieu of its sibling. Oh, but the little blue dumpster was not jealous - the little blue dumpster was just sad.

"FATHER! WHY HATH YOU FORSAKEN ME?", the little blue dumpster shouted at the clouds, confusing itself with Jesus.

"Why little blue dumpster, I have not forsaken you. People have forsaken you - they are just stupid!" shouted down a non-denominational deity/science.

The little blue dumpster lived out its days, never knowing why it was used improperly, eventually committing suicide at a ripe old age of 3.

R.I.P. little blue dumpster - you will be missed.

A map. The blue circle is the location of the little blue
dumpster. The brown circles are actual trash dumpsters.
They were too far for people to walk, so they just dumped
trash in the recycling dumpster. They actually KNOCKED
over the fence around it, built a new, bigger one, and brought
in a brand new trash dumpster. People have failed to use it.



On the left: the new brown dumpster, nearly one week from being delivered.
Barely any trash has been put in it. On the right: the little blue dumpster,
still being filled with trash.


In conclusion: People are lazy and stupid.