What the fuck "Hitler"?

I'll be the first to admit that I don't understand racial hate and discrimination on a very base level. Even moreso, I don't understand why it ever comes to the find of out-and-out hate whereas someone actaully feels the need to insult others using racially discriminating words.

And while I don't understand anything in the paragraph above, but have tried, I have never actually bothered to try understanding why anybody would think of Hitler as a rolemodel. Yes, neo-nazis are stupid as fuck. I can't see why anybody would think of a chickenshit that killed himself as a hero. I'm sure there are better modern heroes who died in a hail of gunfire or were arrested for things. Sure, Hitler killed millions of people, but when it came time to face his fate, he didn't die for the cause or become a martyr, he fucking killed himself like the chickenshit that he was.

So it pains me, fully, to hear that Calvin E. Lockner, recently arrested for an assault on an elderly African-American gentleman (which was completely racially motivated - there's no denying it) has a picture of Hitler tattooed on his stomach with the words "He Lives" underneath it. Oh, and he goes by the nickname "Hitler" (which is why the title is What the fuck "Hitler"?).

Calvin has a sordid history of crime: He's been charged with raping a woman and leaving her to die (and serving 8 years for it) and sexually assaulting a 4-year-old girl (woo, that's real superior stuff there from the master race), and for "biting his girlfriend's face during a discussion of black people" (paraphrasing from the papeR).

Now, good ol' Calvin (along with two teens) is being charged with attempted murder and assault, which is good.

When the police came to his door, he basically told them he "disliked people who were different from him" and told them that he was a white supremist. While that is completely ballsy to the point of being stupid, I have a feeling that he'll use it as evidence that he is criminally insane (which is how he got away with some of his earlier crimes - pleading criminal insanity). Who, in their right mind, would admit that stuff as soon as the cops came to the door? It's almost as if he were admitting to the crime and was proud of it. Oh, and I suppose having Adolf on his stomach with "He Lives" doesn't help - he might actually believe that he is the reincarnation of that chickenshit or something.

This all has given me a headache and made me very angry... I think tomorrow night I'm going to go see Inglourious Basterds - maybe it'll make me feel better.

Calvin Lockner: You are failing horribly at being the master race.

1. Sources: Baltimore police call beating of 76-year-old man a hate crime; Details emerge...; Two teens...;

What the fuck, George Deller?

August 7th, 2009
Bel Air, MD, a rotten cesspoll of idiotic conservative thought.

George Deller has just finished reading The Baltimore Sun. He threw it aside in disgust. "Oh, that's it! How dare they run this story in The Sun! I'm angry, and I'm going to write a letter. I'm hopefully going to be completely illogical, and I cannot wait for it to be published in the paper", George said to himself.

He sat down at his computer, and began typing. Soon, electrons were firing through its processors, while neurons in his head sat there, apathetically, refusing to fire. He began typing his letter letter, seemingly in agreement with the article:

"We're just like you," begins the article on the Sun's editorial page of August 7th. We then learn that the authors, a loving same-sex couple, are active in their faith community, work hard, pay their taxes, love to garden and bake and dance and laugh. But they are treated as second-class citizens in Maryland, separate and not equal because the state does not recognize their "marriage" contracted in Canada.^[1]

He read his first paragraph over, scanning it for errors. He sighed a sigh of relief, then excitedly shouted, "Excellent, this will really capture the attention of the pathetic liberal, equality-loving peaceniks! Once I've drawn them in, I can be completely irrational and prove my point! Muahahahahahaha!"

He thought about how to continue his letter for a few seconds, then continued typing.

He furiously began typing the next paragaph, his fingers moving faster than his brain (which, admitted, isn't a hard - perhaps a slug could do better). "Why should two loving, comitted, consenting adults be denied the same rights that accrue to heterosexual couples? Why indeed?", he wrote.

He thought to himself, "Perhaps I can call their arguments well-reasoned and logical as a joke. Only I'm capable of such logical reasoning", while typing the rest of his paragraph. He soon finished it, and was proud of his work:

Their logical, reasoned arguments have convinced me and I am going to write to my state representative and ask that he introduce legislation to end discrimination against any and all consenting adults who wish to enjoy the practical protections of marriage. Maybe he could call it "the Same-Sex/Incestuous Marriage Act of 2009."

He sent it off to his best friend and mentor to read it over. His friend, who was busy organizing the local KKK rally, quickly read it over and wrote back: "Two thumbs up - would read again!"

George read his entire letter again and then remarked to himself, "Perfect! I mocked the hell out of their stupid reasoning and brought up my own totally-valid reasoning as to why this is a terrible idea."

He read the last line over and over again, and thought aloud, "Someone might call it a slippery-slope argument, but I'm not even sure what that is, so who cares?"

Since he wasn't sure what a slippery-slope argument was, and didn't think it really mattered if he had made one, he continued in the same vein for the last paragraph, finishing up his hate-filled speech with this gem:

Yes, that's it exactly. Let's end not only the discrimination directed at consenting homosexuals but also that directed at the loving mother who wants to marry her (adult, consenting) son or the brother who wants to marry his (adult, consenting) sister. Let's just redefine marriage as the union of any two loving, comitted, consenting adults. Yes, I'm sure that will put everything right and make ours a more just society. As the sign the the photograph says, "Civil Marriage is a civil right." Yes, I think I'll get started on that letter right now.

After he hit the period key for the last time, he clicked "send" and the e-mail shipped itself off to The Baltimore Sun, where many were able to read it and laugh.

George, having felt accomplished, decided to call up his care taker and have them take him out for the day. You see, George is mentally handicapped, and incapable of any rational thought or judgment, let alone taking care of himself.

George Deller: Okay, so maybe he's not actually retarded, as that would be an insult to the mentally handicapped. But something tells me this guy has never had an intelligent thought in his entire life.

1. Source

What the fuck, Georgia?

I've always said that the "dirty south" could use some cleansing - not of the ethnic type so much, but of the racial type: the entire human race.

It should be well-known by now to News of the Weird readers that a DNA test disproving fatherhood will not necessarily relieve a man of child-support obligations. Frank Hatley's case is especially alarming. He was finally released in July in Cook County, Ga., but only after having spent 13 months in jail because he had missed a few payments for another man's child. Hatley had paid conscientiously, albeit incompletely, from 1987-2000, out of meager wages, and continued (even during periods of unemployment and homelessness) for several years after he learned he was not the father. In 2001, a court absolved him of the duty to make future payments, but the state interpreted that ruling as not affecting the overdue amounts from the past, and in 2008 jailed him. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 7-14-09]^[1]

So this guy, who wasn't even the father, was nice and payed child support even when he was homeless. It was later found out that he wasn't the father, and thus didn't have to pay anymore. And for some reason, Georgia state officials decided that he should go to jail for not paying for something he didn't even legally owe.

WHAT THE FUCK?

How can they even consider that to be a valid reason to jail someone? If anything, the state, or the woman, should be paying the guy back all of the money he didn't owe to begin with.

I can only hope this guy is smart and gets a good lawyer and sues the shit out of the state of Georgia, making them feel stupid and putting them in their place so something this mind-numbingly stupid doesn't happen to anybody else.

Georgia: Tough on deatbeat dads, even the ones who pay for somebody else's "little squirt".

1. Source (temporarily only)