X-Box: THE SILENT KILLER!

The family of a budding computer programmer have on Saturday launched a campaign to raise awareness about the health risks of playing online computer games after their son died following a marathon session on his Xbox.

A post-mortem revealed that 20-year-old Chris Staniforth -- who was offered a place to study Game Design at Leicester University -- was killed by a pulmonary embolism, which can occur if someone sits in the same position for several hours.^[1]

A terrible tragedy. The poor kid adult.

Professor Brian Colvin -- an expert on blood-related conditions -- said it was "unhealthy" for youngsters to spend long periods in front of their consoles.

You don't say!

I wonder when we needed a professor to start telling us these things? Was it about the time that Generation X needed the government to do everything for them? Likely!

"There's anxiety about obesity and children not doing anything other than looking at computer screens," he told The Sun.

Easy way to solve this problem: BE A PARENT. Oh my gosh, I know this is a relatively new idea and it's a bit revolutionary, but as a parent you can TELL YOUR CHILD WHAT TO DO. Parents have the ability to PARENT and control their child's activities in their own home. If playing X-Box might present a danger because they do it too much, maybe the parent could just TAKE THE X-BOX AWAY!^[2]

And, finally:
A coroner's court in Sheffield was told how the youngster -- who had no underlying medical conditions -- was complaining of a low heart rate before collapsing outside a Jobcentre.

He wasn't a youngster, he was 20 - an age where he should've fucking known better.

Holy fuck do we baby people or what?

1. Yahoo article
2. No, wait, the kid would cry... You know, like when you tell them that they can't have a Happy Meal! The only real solution is to BAN EVERYTHING!