When is albuterol not albuterol?

Not albuterol.

The title asks an important question: When is albuterol not albuterol? The answer to that questions is quite simple: When Walmart is involved.

I went to the doctor's office today, just for a yearly check-up kinda thing and to get my inhaler refilled. My doctor asked me how much it ran these days for someone without insurance (about $40). I told her how much it was, and she was appalled. She then recommended that I go to Walmart or Target, and informed me that the generic albuterol inhaler is less than $10 there.

"Wow, I'm in luck", I thought to myself! $10 is way better than $40, you know?

I left the office, information in hand, and drove to the nearest Walmart. I took my prescription in to the store, and stood in the "Drop Off" line. There was only one person in front of me, but he asked a lot of questions, so I had to stand there for awhile, which kinda sucked, but I was okay with it if I could save $30.

Eventually, another employee realized a line was forming behind me, so she opened up the other "Drop Off" window...and that's where the problem began.

I walked up to her, handed her my paper and said, "Could I get the generic? I'd love to pay less than $10."

She looked at my prescription and said, "I'm sorry, but you can't get the generic."

I was confused, but then remembered something about my prescription, which I pointed out to her, "Right there, my doctor signed the little line that says I can get generic if it's available."

She rolled her eyes, as if I were some sort-of idiot, and then told, "Yes, but what you're talking about is albuterol. That's the generic form of albuterol. You can't get it if your prescription isn't for albuterol!"

"But my prescription is for albuterol," I quipped.

She was getting impatient with me now (and I with her, because this made no sense), and in a huff, she said, "It has to say albuterol in order to get the generic albuterol. Sorry. Maybe you could get your doctor to give you a prescription for albuterol."

Also not albuterol.

So, what did I do? I took my piece of paper and left that Walmart, infuriated by their idiocy. I was thoroughly confused by now, as I was pretty sure my ProAir HFA inhaler said "albuterol" right on it. So, I did the logical thing, and took it out of my pocket. As it turns out, it says "albuterol" on it, just like I thought it would. Knowing that, even with this sorta logical evidence in hand, I could do nothing to deter the Walmart employee from her path of idiocy and complete lack of sensible decision-making, I decided that going back to the doctor's office would get me what I wanted.

I DROVE BACK TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE. I walked in, and I informed the receptionist that I needed to speak to the doctor again, and she said that she'd be with me again.

I waited for a few minutes, and my doctor came out to ask me what was up. I informed her of the problem, and she asked the receptionist to call the Walmart and explain to them that she wanted me to get the generic albuterol instead of ProAir HFA, and if the person she talked to didn't understand it, to talk to the actual pharmacist.

The receptionist called, and I really had hoped that she would've had a better time of it than I did. But, unfortunately, my hopes and dreams were squashed, as the pharmacy tech told the receptionist the same thing that she had told me. The receptionist then did as my doctor asked, and asked to speak with the pharmacist. So, this guy gets on the phone and basically said the same fucking bullshit the tech just said. The receptionist cried out to him, "But ProAir IS albuterol!"

The pharmacist, speaking so loudly that I could hear him through the phone in the waiting area said, "Well, we don't give out generic albuterol unless it says albuterol on the prescription."

The receptionist, seeing that this was going nowhere, digressed, and said, "Well, fine, then can I call in a prescription for albuterol now?"

The pharmacist, apparently annoyed by being contradicted by fact, yelled "NOT NOW" and hung up on her.

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK is that?

From Wikipedia's page on "Salbutamol":

Salbutamol (INN) or albuterol (USAN) is a short-acting β2-adrenergic receptor agonist used for the relief of bronchospasm in conditions such as asthma and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. It is marketed by GlaxoSmithKline as Ventolin, Aerolin or Ventorlin depending on the market; by Cipla as Asthalin; by Schering-Plough as Proventil and by Teva as ProAir.^[1]

So, basically, according to Walmart-logic, albuterol wasn't a good substitution for...albuterol. Right.

You know, I often feel sorry for people who have to work at Walmart, because it's a shitty job, and for some people, it's the only job they can get, or the best job they can get (which must really suck). But do you know what? Fuck those two people. They're clearly idiots who don't know what they're talking about, and one of them - the pharmacist - has a college degree! Why are they so fucking stupid? Where has the common sense gone? How can you give out a medication so constantly and not know that it is albuterol? Clearly other people have come in and had the same problem, since the girl knew exactly what I was talking about... WHY haven't they done something about this and become less ignorant on the subject?

Fuck you, Walmart...I'm going to Target.

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salbutamol

Oklahoma, we're fuckin' through... Professionally!

My ideal map of the U.S.

My ideal map of the United States keeps getting smaller and smaller. I don't want it to, but it has to. If I keep considering so many stupid states as part of my country, when people say things like "America is full of stupid people," I might have to agree. BUT, if I pretend certain states aren't part of the country anymore, then I'm free to think "We're not that bad." Sure, it's a little bit of a denial on my part, but at this point, can you really blame me? Can anyone blame anyone for feeling this way?

You see, I got to remove Arizona the other day, adding it to Texas and Florida. Well, now the mid-south west is looking even more barren. Without Texas to fill the gap between it and Mexico, Oklahoma fell right off the map!

Though, to blame Texas would be erroneous, and it would be removing the blame from the people and the legislature of Oklahoma.^[1]

The Oklahoma state legislature passed several bills pertaining to abortion last week. All of them were against abortions, in general... And all of them are complete works of failure.

Before we get into the particular bills, I'll point out the fact that governor vetoed one of them specifically because he said it seemed like it'd be unconstitutional (based on previous court rulings on a similar bill). While that seems perfectly reasonable, what doesn't is the fact that the idiot legislature has said they're going to overturn the veto, even though it makes complete sense that it will simply be overturned by court rulings... Just like the last one.^[2]

The above-mentioned bill is one which requires a woman who is seeking an abortion to go through an invasive ultrasound. Basically, they're forcing women who wants abortions to get a probe stuck up their vagina, then showing them a picture of the fetus. You know, to try to convince them that it's a baaaaaabyyyy and stuff. They didn't include any exclusions at all, meaning that victims of rape, who have already felt like their body was violated, get to be violated by doctors because of a state law.

COOOOOL! Gosh, Oklahoma... You're so special and stuff! I am in awe of your legal statutes AND your moral fortitude! When I grow up, Oklahoma, I want to be JUST LIKE YOU.

Or nothing like you. Yeah... That one.

As for the second bill? Well, its supporters say it's to keep people from aborting over handicaps (why that's an issue, I dunno^[3]). What it actually does is prevents people from suing doctors for not disclosing information about the fetus. Basically, if a doctor screws up and doesn't fully disclose what he or she knows about your fetus, you can't sue them. In essence, they can commit medical malpractice, and simply not give a fuck because there are absolutely no repercussions.

Nice job, Oklahoma. Nice job! My message to you? You've really fucked up this time, Oklahoma... You've really fucked up.

But, before we go, let me throw it out there. I'm not alone in my feelings. As it turns out, Kanye West has a message for you, too!

Kanye believes that you have passed some of the dumbest laws of all time, Oklahoma. In a written statement he said, "Yo, Arizona. I'm really happy for you and your stupid laws, and I'm going to let you finish passing more stupid laws, but Oklahomoa just passed some of the dumbest laws of all time. OF ALL TIME!"

1. I'm not sure about the people, to be honest. The governor seems completely reasonable, and he was elected by the same people that elected the legislators.
2. Though, if you think about it in the context of moral fascism and fundamentalism, it makes perfect sense. Whether or not it'll fail means nothing, as they'll be "saving the poor little babies" in the meantime. Which is an even more fucked up way to make laws...
3. Oh, yeah, I do... Anything to keep the number of abortions down, duh!