I keep hearing liberals ask "Where are the jobs" in relation to any bill proposed by members of the GOP. Yes, we all know that the GOP ran on a platform of creating new jobs, and they seem to have yet to do such a thing. But personally, I feel that most liberals are ignoring facts/missing the points on this one, so we're going to take a look at a few bills proposed by the GOP in the USHoR!
HR39
To delist the polar bear as a threatened species under the Endangered Species Act of 1973.[1]
This one should be obvious! This will lead to an immediate influx of tourists in Alaska. The long-term effects will be a lucrative polar bear-hunting industry (until they die out, of course). Oh, and let's not ignore that with the polar bear no longe protected the oil companies can do whatever the fuck they want, which will save them money... And everybody knows if a company makes more money they hire more people or something, right?!
HR2
To repeal the job-killing health care law and health care-related provisions in the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act of 2010.[2]
Hell, it's right there in the title on this one: THE HEALTH CARE BILL KILLS JOBS! If they repeal it, then more people will get sick and die. More death, of course leads to the country needing more people being hired to dig graves, burn bodies, keep the cemetery looking nice, and if they're qualified, run a morgue and maybe even embalm them. Funeral directors needed!
This is a win-win situation, folks... The population goes down, while the amount of people with jobs goes up. You can't beat that method of lowering the unemployment rate!
HR3
To prohibit taxpayer funded abortions and to provide for conscience protections, and for other purposes.[3]
Like above, this will lead to a ton more jobs in the "death" industry. It will also lead to some jobs in the back-alley-abortion field (which will lead to death - hence the death industry bit), which will cause a need for more police. Oh, and don't forget that more to-term pregnancies means a higher need for doctors specializing in that field!
So, as we can see, if you use a "certain point of view" (like Obi-Wan Kenobi advised Luke Skywalker to do), you can see the good that the GOP is trying to do. They could do more, though, and I strongly and readily encourage them to do so.
So, what more can they do? Well, perhaps a bill to take away all safety features from cars would be a great start! The auto industry could use an influx of money from saving on costs.
Maybe someone could propose a bill where, if you show up to the hospital with life-threatening injuries, they simply refuse to treat you is in due course! Or another good one might be where the fire department arrives and lets a house burn to the ground before putting the fire out... That'd lead to more jobs in the home-building industry, too!
So, remember, the GOP, as a whole, is sticking to their promises... From a certain point of view.
1. HR39
2. HR2
3. HR3
 |
| This polar bear got his ass kicked. |
To delist the polar bear as a threatened species under the Endangered Species Act of 1973.[1]
This one should be obvious! This will lead to an immediate influx of tourists in Alaska. The long-term effects will be a lucrative polar bear-hunting industry (until they die out, of course). Oh, and let's not ignore that with the polar bear no longe protected the oil companies can do whatever the fuck they want, which will save them money... And everybody knows if a company makes more money they hire more people or something, right?!
HR2
To repeal the job-killing health care law and health care-related provisions in the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act of 2010.[2]
Hell, it's right there in the title on this one: THE HEALTH CARE BILL KILLS JOBS! If they repeal it, then more people will get sick and die. More death, of course leads to the country needing more people being hired to dig graves, burn bodies, keep the cemetery looking nice, and if they're qualified, run a morgue and maybe even embalm them. Funeral directors needed!
This is a win-win situation, folks... The population goes down, while the amount of people with jobs goes up. You can't beat that method of lowering the unemployment rate!
HR3
To prohibit taxpayer funded abortions and to provide for conscience protections, and for other purposes.[3]
Like above, this will lead to a ton more jobs in the "death" industry. It will also lead to some jobs in the back-alley-abortion field (which will lead to death - hence the death industry bit), which will cause a need for more police. Oh, and don't forget that more to-term pregnancies means a higher need for doctors specializing in that field!
So, as we can see, if you use a "certain point of view" (like Obi-Wan Kenobi advised Luke Skywalker to do), you can see the good that the GOP is trying to do. They could do more, though, and I strongly and readily encourage them to do so.
So, what more can they do? Well, perhaps a bill to take away all safety features from cars would be a great start! The auto industry could use an influx of money from saving on costs.
Maybe someone could propose a bill where, if you show up to the hospital with life-threatening injuries, they simply refuse to treat you is in due course! Or another good one might be where the fire department arrives and lets a house burn to the ground before putting the fire out... That'd lead to more jobs in the home-building industry, too!
So, remember, the GOP, as a whole, is sticking to their promises... From a certain point of view.
1. HR39
2. HR2
3. HR3
Posts
