Yep, I'm writing a fucking blog about Twilight. Why? Because I have a little bit of an issue with it. And by "it", I mean the average person who hates it.
First, let's get some stuff out of the way:
Twilight is bad. It's not well-written, and the movies aren't well-done. They're juvenile, teenage fantasy about love, lust and scary monsters. The ineffectual female lead needs men to protect her from everything, which just leads to more teen girls thinking they need a hero man around instead of being strong and doing stuff for themselves.
Now, on to my point...
I have been hearing for years now about how "Twilight is a bad vampire movie", and "Twilight has taken all of the scariness out of vampires", and "Twilight makes fun of good vampire entertainment culture".
Well, fuck all of you people.
"Good vampire entertainment culture"??? What in the fuck is that? It's a bad vampire movie? I'm pretty sure there hasn't been a good vampire movie since 1994, if you can even consider "Interview With a Vampire" to be one.[1]
Before that, there were plenty of good vampire movies. (Like 1970's Vampyros Lesbos!)
And actually, I'd argue that "Interview" itself made them all kinda romantic-like figures. So there you have it, Twilight didn't make vampires less scary, because they already weren't scary. It didn't make them romantic pansies, because Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise already did that.
So, what I'm saying is this: Twilight has not ruined vampires in the entertainment media, because Hollywood has done that themselves. If you're one of those people that runs around in real life or the Internet, complaining about how Twilight ruined vampires and vampire culture, go fuck yourself.
1. A list of the best 70 vampire movies of all-time. I dare you to try to find me a good one since "Interview".
First, let's get some stuff out of the way:
Twilight is bad. It's not well-written, and the movies aren't well-done. They're juvenile, teenage fantasy about love, lust and scary monsters. The ineffectual female lead needs men to protect her from everything, which just leads to more teen girls thinking they need a hero man around instead of being strong and doing stuff for themselves.
Now, on to my point...
I have been hearing for years now about how "Twilight is a bad vampire movie", and "Twilight has taken all of the scariness out of vampires", and "Twilight makes fun of good vampire entertainment culture".
Well, fuck all of you people.
"Good vampire entertainment culture"??? What in the fuck is that? It's a bad vampire movie? I'm pretty sure there hasn't been a good vampire movie since 1994, if you can even consider "Interview With a Vampire" to be one.[1]
Before that, there were plenty of good vampire movies. (Like 1970's Vampyros Lesbos!)
- Blade? Awful.
- Underworld series? Awful.
- Dracula 2000? Seriously, it had "Hyde" from "That 70s Show" in it. That says enough right there.
- Van Helsing? Jesus Christ, that was unwatchable... And I even LIKE Hugh Jackman most of the time!
- John Carpenter's Vampires. All right, I can almost give you this one. It was a b-movie and it was kinda glorious at times. But it really wasn't that scary, just violent. So, my point remains: Twilight didn't take the scariness out of vampires, because there was none to begin with.
And actually, I'd argue that "Interview" itself made them all kinda romantic-like figures. So there you have it, Twilight didn't make vampires less scary, because they already weren't scary. It didn't make them romantic pansies, because Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise already did that.
So, what I'm saying is this: Twilight has not ruined vampires in the entertainment media, because Hollywood has done that themselves. If you're one of those people that runs around in real life or the Internet, complaining about how Twilight ruined vampires and vampire culture, go fuck yourself.
1. A list of the best 70 vampire movies of all-time. I dare you to try to find me a good one since "Interview".
Posts
What about Buffy? (The movie wasn't that great, but I enjoyed the show.)
ReplyDeleteThe Buffy movie was from 1992, so it predates Interview with a Vampire (1994), so I didn't mention it.
ReplyDelete